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Essays On Why I Want To Be An Architect

What do you do in your job?

I design temples and other buildings. I draw what a building should look like. Architects decide how much buildings will cost, what materials to use, and how to put everything together. We work with engineers, interior designers, and landscapers.

What do you like most about your job?

When I was a child, I loved building houses in the sandbox. I have the same fun now, except now my ideas turn into real buildings. I love seeing something from my imagination become real.

What did you have to do to learn this job?

I went to college to become an architect. I learned about drawing, design, math, computer programs, and all about buildings. Being organized and working with other people is also important. Sometimes you fail, and sometimes you succeed. You need both experiences to grow your talents.

How does your job help you serve others and express your testimony?

I always pray for guidance from Heavenly Father when I design a building or for anything in my life. I love Heavenly Father and the Savior, and I know They know me personally. I grew up in Star Valley, Wyoming, USA, and as an architect I helped design the new Star Valley temple! My son, Micah, even helped me turn a shovel of dirt at the groundbreaking. It is a blessing to help create a building that can bless so many lives.

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"I Am" - Architect Essay - With A Free Essay Review




University of Illinois at Chicago

Personal Statement

My name is Gabriel Eduardo Alvarez. I am 17 years old and I currently reside in the city of Joliet, IL. I am captivated by the field of architecture. I strongly believe the profession of an architect influences the way people live, eat, sleep, and network, amongst numerous activities. Architects not only have to meet federal, state, and city specifications in every one of their projects but they must also keep up with the pace of evolution in the environment for they shape a big portion of tomorrow’s future. My interest in architecture as a profession derives from the process in which an idea of space is transformed into a construction project and I am determined to discover what is behind this process.

As of right now, my main goal is to attend a great school that offers an excellent program in architecture. I believe the University of Illinois at Chicago is a great institution in which I can accomplish my goals of becoming an architect. Given the knowledge, skills, and tools, I am confident that UIC will push me to my limits to get the best of my abilities. I am determined to pursue this major and if given the opportunity, I know I will have success in my ability. One of my long-term goals is to one day start a foundation. This foundation would reach out to society through my profession. It would build eco-friendly homes for those affected greatly by natural disasters and to those in desperate need out in third-world countries. I know the field of architecture opens many doors to successful careers however it also offers infinite possibilities to give back to society.

Back in Texas, I attended a distinctive high school and took college credit starting my freshmen year. The high school I attended had just been opened and it was an early college high school. At first we would take college classes at our campus but on my junior year I was admitted into a dual enrollment academy which allowed me to take courses on the collegiate campus. This academy focused primarily in engineering, it was referred to as the Dual Enrollment Engineering Academy (DEEA) and the purpose of this academy was to allow us the opportunity to not only graduate with our high school diploma but attain an Associate’s Degree from the college. Unfortunately for me, I moved before starting my senior year due to family reasons. I strongly believe, however, that being part of DEEA was an exceptional experience. Having to take college courses with professors there at the college in the afternoons allowed for me to be exposed to the college environment and gain a new perspective. At the end I was able to acquire approximately 30 college credit hours which I consider an accomplishment.

Throughout my years of high school I did achieve several accomplishments. Perhaps the most outstanding achievement in all my high school years would be the honor of designing my new high school’s logo. Being a brand new school, we only had our name establish; that was until the school’s administration held a logo contest during my freshmen year. There is in fact a comic, rather interesting story of this event. I did not have any expectations to win but at the end my creation was selected to represent PSJA T-STEM ECHS.

For the most part of my high school years, I did not get the opportunity to participate in sports. Since the school in Texas, T-STEM ECHS, had just opened, there were no sports, band/orchestra, or much activities. There was however, a club that interested me significantly. For the next three years I went on becoming the vice-president of this club. It was the T-STEM Titans Robotics club that participated in FRC (F.I.R.S.T, Robotics, Competition.) Being part of this experience made this section of my high school years the best I could possibly have had. Each year all the participating high schools, across the nation, are given a “game challenge” and in just six weeks the schools have to build a robot that not only meets specific requirements but that is well-programmed to perform definite tasks. At around March regional competitions are held. During my sophomore year we were able to place third in the Houston, TX Regional and it gave us all a remarkable feeling. Yes, it was a challenge each year to stay within limits but it was well worth the experience. I in particular got the opportunity to work with AutoCAD software to design most of our robots each year. There is large amount of mathematics and engineering concepts involved and the stirring part is that it is all hands-on learning, an experience of a lifetime.

I think that one of the experiences that has made a vast impact on me is having to move states. I was about to start my senior year at the early college high school I had attended for three years and I would like to believe I would have been able to graduate with an Associate’s Degree in Engineering. Unfortunately, I had to move to Joliet, IL due to family reasons. It was a bit challenging, and still is, to adapt to this new environment, new people, and the vast variety of cultures. I had anticipated my academics to be affected greatly from the move, but with extensive support from my current counselor my academic profile meets up to my expectations.

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ESSAY REVIEW

I think you need to give a bit more thought to how you want to organize your essay, for at present there seems to be no logic underlying the order in which you present information. You start your third paragraph, for instance, with "Back in Texas ... " as though your reader already knew that you had lived in Texas. In your fourth paragraph, you mention the existence of an interesting story, and then provide a string of random-looking letters as though it were a meaningful and obvious way of indicating whatever entity your "creation was selected to represent." At this point, I expect to hear the interesting story, but instead am informed of the apparently irrelevant fact that you didn't play sports. While I’m trying to figure out why you’re telling me about not playing sports instead of telling me about the logo story, you switch to telling me about robotics competitions and, then, without transition, you start talking about moving states. At that point, you start repeating yourself (the stuff about early-college high school) and then, perhaps because you hit the word limit, but for no obvious reason, you stop writing, and I’m scratching my head trying to figure out what message you are trying to deliver.

I think if you want to be architect, your essay should reflect an ability to design. If your essay were a house, however, the front door would lead to the bathroom, and that to the kitchen, and that to the foyer, which would lead to a bedroom, and then the livingroom. The pool would be in the front yard, and fireplace in the garage. It would be a great house for playing hide and seek, but it would be a bit unpleasant to live in. If your essay were a robot, it's movement would be random, its every action unpredictable.

So plan your essay. Think about what you want it to achieve as a whole - what its overarching purpose is - and think of each paragraph as one of the necessary steps towards achieving that purpose. In a well-designed and well-written essay, your reader will know why one paragraph follows another, and how each paragraph relates to the overall purpose of the essay. For example, your reader will understand why you are telling him about your interest in robotics, and will probably understand why you want to pursue a career as an architect rather than a career as, say, a control or robotics engineer, because you will have explained the way in which your interest has developed.

Individual sentences should also make sense to your reader. In your first paragraph, you explain that architects have to meet certain specifications and you put that banal fact in the same sentence as your claim that architects have to keep up with the pace of evolution. I understand what you mean by meeting specifications, but have no idea why I'm reading this in your personal statement. Perhaps you want to communicate the fact that you are interested in the complex challenges that architects have to overcome, but you don't actually say anything like that. I have no idea what you really mean by "the pace of evolution in the environment" or why you specify that the future is "tomorrow's future." At another point, you are talking about your specific interest in UIC, which is a good thing to do, but again your language is vague: "Given the knowledge [what knowledge?], skills [what skills?], and tools [what tools?] etc. [the rest of the sentence being a cliche]." In the next sentence, you say "I know I will have success in my ability" which is again very vague, and looks a bit like a monstrous hybrid of "I have faith in my ability" and "I know I will succeed."

I'm going to stop now, before either of us gets too depressed. Let me conclude, however, with a final suggestion: Simplify! That means construct simple sentences, and out of them simple paragraphs. Get rid of everything that is vague. Get rid of everything that is repetitious. And get rid of every "I believe" and "I know."

Best, EJ.


Submitted by: galvarez_deeap5@yahoo.com

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